Promise of the Traveling Soldier
by midnight-wolf-314
Summary: Edward never breaks his promises. Not ever. But what if he promises something he knows he can't ever do? EdWin
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I know, I know, I haven't updated FMN in so long and I really should be working on that, right? Well, I plan to very soon. You see, after FMA ended, I got really crazy about FMA and I started reading the fanfiction. Bad idea. Now I'm obsessed, and I heard this song one day (I have heard it before, It's practically my favorite song) after getting it stuck in my head and I said, 'OMG, this is so EdXWinry!' and I just had to write it. I tried to do FMN, but it really stunk because my mind was on another pairing…so I just had to write this to get it out of my system. Now that it's done, I can happily go back to my Inuyasha story.

I will tell you right now, that this is pretty much based of the end of the anime series, with just added things in it. It will have every spoiler you can think of for the last few episodes, so if you haven't seen them, I suggest you don't read this fic quite yet. **_THIS WILL HAVE SPOILERS!_** And if you don't at least know about what's on the other side of the gate, or haven't seen up to the Ishbalans in Lior yet, then you probably won't have a clue about what I'm talking about, so I suggest you turn back now. No reviews asking me to explain everything that happens because you don't get it, all right? Just watch the series and cry your eyes out afterward on your own time, like I did—ok, so I rolled around on the floor screaming in front of one of my best friends, then proceeded to get my other friends obsessed with it. So I don't exactly call that 'doing it on my own time' but hey.

But never fear! They are getting close to playing the Ishbal/Lior thing in a couple episodes on Monday nights on Cartoon Network, whatever time it comes on for you. So go watch that and then read this, ok?

**DISCLAIMER:** I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist, Arakaka-sama does, cuz if she didn't and I did it wouldn't have ended that awful way! I'm still in denial! And I don't own The song "Traveling Soldier" either. That belongs to the Dixie Chicks who totally rock for writing that song! It made me cry when I first heard it.

**Note**: I'm trying not to make this too AU, so it doesn't fit every part of the song like I could have it. The love story between Ed and Winry really isn't the same if they just met, now is it? Didn't think so.

Also, this takes place after the Ishbal/Lior thing and right before Ed leaves to try and finish off the Homunculi. I had to throw a bit of my own plot into it to make it work, but nothing too big, so don't freak out that not everything happened in the anime, ok?

**_Two days past eighteen  
He was waiting for the bus  
In his army greens  
Sat down in a booth  
In a cafe there  
Gave his order to a girl  
With a bow in her hair  
He's a little shy  
So she gives him a smile  
And he said  
"would you mind  
sitting down for a while  
and talking to me  
I'm feeling a little low"  
She said "I'm off in a hour  
and I know where we can go"_  
!**

Edward sighed as he leaned back onto the couch in the dark room. The full moon must have been covered by storm clouds at that moment, for there was no light in the room and if you listened closely enough, you could hear the thunder roaring in the distance. He didn't care though. It was times like these when he just needed to be alone.

Mustang had called earlier that day and informed him of the wars rising in the north. The plan to expose King Bradley would have to wait, and there were rumors that Archer was still wandering around somewhere in the world.

Meanwhile, Ed had finally gained what he'd been searching for all these past years, but it still felt no different. Now, even more questions seemed to pop up. Most important was, of course, what would happen to Al if they used the stone? It was a long shot. Not many people would have ever thought to create something so powerful within oneself. And even less would have succeeded. And now, his brother was living proof of the thousands of soldiers slaughtered in Lior.

All that was left for him to do was ponder how to go about changing the both of them back. He'd never thought about it before, but now that he had it in his possession, the power of the stone scared him. How could something created only by the truly evil come to produce any good? And who's to say the rumors about the stone were even true?

He still had the remaining Homunculi to deal with too: Lust, Gluttony, Envy, Sloth, Wrath, and Pride. And their weaknesses…what did Greed say about that? Using their remains? Well, that assured him of Sloth's demise, and hopefully Wrath's as well, if Izumi was willing to give it up. And possibly Lust, too, assuming he could find something left in that mess that was Ishbala. But Sloth was first. His own mother. Or was she? That thing they brought back…no, that was definitely not their mother. So she couldn't be. Good. That made it all the more easy.

"Ed?" He turned around to greet his company, happy to have his train of thought broken. He knew who it was, and even if he didn't it's not like he would have been able to see her standing there timidly in the darkness.

His best friend. He often worried about her—weather she was safe or not in this small town, away from his protection. And he always hated leaving her. He knew how she cried. She missed them…and worried about them. Who could blame her? Besides them, she only had Granny Pinako for company. He didn't want her to end up all alone—so he would do whatever it took to take care of her. As long as he lived, she would remain safe and loved.

"Hey Winry." He knew what she was doing. She stood there, waiting for permission of some sort. Previous experiences had shown her not to mess with him when he was thinking, but he really didn't mind. "What has you up this late?"

"I can't sleep. I don't want you to go." Her footsteps echoed through the silent house as she walked slowly towards him.

"I know." He replied while standing up to meet her. He knew the tears were coming. They always did. He hated her tears, and if he could, he would stop them forever. They always hit him hard, and knowing it was always his fault made it worse. "But I have to. And you know why you can't come. You're safe here, away from all those horrible monsters. You mean too much to me, Win. I could never forgive myself if something happened to you just because you're with me."

"I don't care!" She yelled, not caring if she woke up the house, "I know what you do is dangerous, Ed, but you never tell me anything! And the way you always show up, bandaged with that arm of yours ripped to shreds, how could I not worry? I try to understand! I try to help you! But how can I if you never let me in long enough for me to do anything about it?" And here they came. Those horrible shining drops of water falling down her beautiful face.

Ed pulled her into a hug, trying to calm her down. "I know you worry, Win, but there's nothing you could do. If you were with me, you'd be in danger. Not just because I'm always in fights. Those monsters are tracking me, Winry, and if they knew about you, I can guarantee that you'd be first on the list of victims. They have powers you can't even imagine, and if I told you, you'd only worry more. But I can't help going. I have to."

"But why?" She sobbed. "You're not part of the military any more. And you have the stone, I know it! Why not just use it and get on with your lives here with me?"

"The military never had anything to do with it. And yes, we have the stone, but it's not quite that simple. If you want to know why, just ask Al to show it to you in the morning. I know he will. And before we can stay we need to finish what we started with the Homunculi. And I'll be back…I promise."

"You know you can't." It was true. Ed realized that sooner or later, he would have to choose between saving his brothers life, or saving his own. And Edward already knew whom he would pick.

"I realize that I can't promise I'll be alive. But hear this now—I will always come for you. And that, I can promise."

He sighed with relief as he felt her sobs begin to fade until they were no more than small hiccups and he wiped away the remaining tears on her delicate cheeks. As he pulled her down onto the couch with him, he softly pressed his lips to her forehead. And he knew right then and there, that no matter what, he would make it out alive.

So they went down and  
They sat on the pier  
He said "I bet'cha got  
A boyfriend but I don't care  
I've got no one  
To send a letter to.  
Would you mind if I  
Sent one back here to you?"  
!

Winry sniffed back a sob as the warning whistle for the train blew throughout the platform while she ushered the brothers into an empty train car. She waved to her lifelong friend with tears streaming down her face.

His promise still rang in her ears. 'I will always come for you.' But she didn't dare believe it. Her now black-haired best friend was smiling at her, but she knew it was fake. They all knew it—one of the brothers would not be coming back. And Winry would bet anything that given the choice, Ed would much rather spare his brother's life than his own.

"I'll write," He mouthed as the train began to move, "I promise. And I _never_ break promises." And again, he grinned at her like he so often did—that wonderful smile that made her think that nothing had changed from when they were young. And she smiled at that thought. 'He must know me inside out by now—he knows that smile will always cheer me up.'

She waved her arm furiously in the air and called out to him one last time, knowing he couldn't hear her. "I love you, Ed!" and then smiled as she finally realized it. "I love you," she whispered, hoping with all her heart that he would return.

**_I Cried  
Never gonna hold the hand of another guy  
"Too young for him" they told her  
Waiting for the love of the Traveling Soldier  
Our love will never end  
Waiting for the soldier  
To come back again  
Nevermore to be alone  
When the letter says  
"A soldier's coming home"  
_**!

_Dear Winry,_

I told you I always keep my promises. So here I am, writing this letter to you, just to make you happy. I hate your tears. I don't want to be the cause of them anymore. So maybe I should tell you what you've always wanted to know, about my life right now. I don't want you to worry. But I guess you do anyway, so I may as well explain things a little more clearly.

_My brother and I _have_ found the stone—but this is just between us. The stone isn't what we expected. It's not an item, like a rock you'd pick up outside. It's more like a formation of a cave. I know you've seen pictures. But Al…well, once again he's paid the price for it. It's inside of him, Winry. It's not as simple as just using it. The rumors of the stone have all been wrong so far. I can't help but feel that if I were to use the stone, it would hurt him…maybe even kill him. I can't take that chance again. I can't live in my brother's memory anymore than I already am. It's only going to be one of us who get's to be normal, I just know it. And you know that it'll be him. I guess you'll just keep 'making a fortune' off me all our lives, won't you? Haha._

_And these Homunculi—they're pure evil. You've met one of them—Wrath. And you know how to create them. I guess you assumed that we never created one, even though we went through the process. Or maybe you did and just never mentioned it. But there is. Her name is Sloth, and even though she's the exact replica of Mom, except for that tattoo, I feel nothing but pure hatred toward her. I think Al feels differently. He keeps asking me how I'll be able to kill our own mother, and I always give him the same answer—'simple Al, I'll use her remains and that transmutation circle, just like Greed told me'. But he never wants to be a part of it. I can't say I blame him. As much as I hate that damn woman, I can't help but feel like I can't do it. But I have to. I have to kill them all, simply to save everyone I care about—including you. They will never use your life for the stone. Never. _

_I heard what you said on the platform, about how you feel. I know you thought I was too far away, but I always seem to hear you. I don't know how, but I do. Don't worry though. I love you, too. I always have. And since I've already proven my promises are always real, I promise I'll come back to you. I hope it won't take long, but with these monsters running around, it may be a while. Please…promise me you'll wait for me. No matter how long I take and no matter what happens to me—I will come back to you. Always and forever. You know I'm not a cliché kind of person, but I just have this feeling—like this is true love. Not just a crush or infatuation. I think we're meant to be together. And if we are, then I'll always find a way to save you—no matter what the problem is._

_But I have to admit; I think we're getting close. I don't want you to worry, but when I got back to the room we're staying at, Al wasn't there, even though I told him to stay put. He's been anxious to use the stone, and I think I know where he went. And if I'm right, he's in danger. But I don't think he'll let Tucker hurt him. It's him trying to figure out how to use the stone, and whatever Tucker gets out of it, that worries me. _

_You know I'm not usually one to say this, but I'm scared—for you, for him, and even though it's selfish, for me. This is turning into way more than any of us bargained for. And all it took was one simple mistake all those years ago and all the guilt that came with it. I hope you'll be all right. I feel like the homunculi are following me. They're everywhere I am, and that worries me. If they ever follow me to you, I'll have led you into a death trap you couldn't get out of. They wouldn't hesitate to kill you. I wish I could be there, protecting you every second of every day, but we both know I can't. But if you ever need me, just call. Not on the phone, just yell out my name. I don't know why, and I don't know how, but I feel as though I'll sense you—and you know I'll come running, as fast as I can._

_Please don't worry, but I'm going after Al, and I know the Homunculi will be there soon enough. Depending on how many of them show and what goes on, I may not be able to write for a long while. I hope it won't be that long, and I hope you don't cause yourself too much grief over not hearing from me. I promise I'll come out alive. Just wait for me, and don't listen to what anyone else says. I've beaten the odds before, and if your beautiful, happy, smiling face won't shine unless I'm alive, then I swear I'll stay alive._

_Until I see you once more,_

_I love you with my life,_

_Edward_

**_So the letters came from an army camp  
In California, then Vietnam  
And he told her of his heart  
It might be love  
And all of the things  
He was so scared of  
He said "When it's getting  
Kinda rough over here  
I think of that day  
Sitting down at the pier  
And I close my eyes  
And see your pretty smile  
Don't worry, but I won't  
Be able to write for a while."  
_**!

_Dear Edward,_

_Thank you. You don't know how much it means to me that you wrote to me…and especially that you told me all of that. And you already know that I'll wait until the end of the world for you. I never thought you could be so sappy, but it makes me feel better. I'd rather have you telling me how you really feel in your letters rather then telling me how stupid it is that I should 'make' you write to me. _

_You know I don't know where you are right now. I know why you didn't put a return label. And even if you had, there's no doubt in my mind that you'd be long gone from that place by the time this got there. So I'm sending it directly to Mustang. I hope he'll give it to you—I hope you get this._

_I'm scared for you. You know that. I know you hate it when I worry, but it's only natural. Though if it'll help you to stay alive, I'll have faith in you. I love you, Ed. I wish I'd told you in person. I feel as though I'll never see you again. _

_I know you always keep your promises. You don't have to prove it to me. But these just seem like promises you can't keep. You can't charge into battle with these awful…'things' and not get hurt. And if there's a chance you'll get hurt, there's also a chance you'll get killed. _

_I just want you to come back in one piece, with or without the automail. I know your dream, and I hope you achieve it, but if it comes down to it, don't worry about it. I won't charge you if you ever quit the military. I just do it because I know you're practically swimming in money and you never use any of it. _

_And I know you're scared. If you were here right now, I imagine you'd have your head bowed with hair falling over your eyes. And I know I'd be hugging you and promising that it'll all turn out okay. I wish I could do that now. But think positive, or try to. When you make it out of this, you'll come back home to me and we'll get married just like you always knew we would. Don't think I don't remember those arguments. You know the ones…'I'm gonna beat you one day, Al.' 'Nuh-uh! I always win, and you know it!' 'well, I'll just have to prove you wrong!' 'About what? I already won the top bunk, and the candy, and the toys, and the…' 'Alright, alright, I get the point…but what if I said that I'll grow up and marry Winry and there's nothing you can do to stop me!' 'Winry's too nice to marry someone as stupid as you! She'll marry me!' 'Nuh-uh!' 'yeah, she will.' 'Me!' 'Me!' 'Me!' 'Me!' 'Hey Winry, which one of us will you marry?' 'Neither, if you both don't shut up!' You know, I picked you all along, Ed. But we were so young and innocent; we had no clue about real marriage. We will get married, though, if you want to that is. And then you can show Al! But I bet he only argued with you over that because he liked to make you mad. You really are fun to argue with. _

_Please be safe, Ed. I will wait, but just please be careful. I don't want you almost dead either. Don't be too reckless. Just take the time you need to do things right._

_I love you, my very TALL alchemist (not a joke, I swear!)_

_Winry_

**_I cried  
Never gonna hold the hand of another guy  
"Too young for him" they told her  
Waiting for the love of her Traveling Soldier  
Our love will never end  
Waiting for the soldier  
To come back again  
Nevermore to be alone  
When the letter says  
"A soldier's coming home"  
_**!

Edward sighed as he leaned back onto the couch, just like those weeks ago at Winry's. It had been so hard on him…losing his brother again. And at that time, all thoughts of living with Winry left his mind. He felt so alone without Al. So he gave up everything. And only after the light surrounded him and he found himself once again in front of the Gate, did he remember his promise. He tried to turn back, but he was already passed the doors, returning to that horrid place on the other side with his father.

If only they'd never tried to bring back their mother. Maybe they never should have gone to Central to join the military. Or maybe the problem lied in that he hadn't stopped when he'd had the chance. He could have just changed Al back using the stone. Instead he went off after the Homunculi. They didn't even know he'd had the stone until the warehouse. They wouldn't have pursued him if his chance had passed to create it and he 'hadn't'.

But it was all in the past. And now he felt more alone than ever. And he'd broken his promise to Winry. She'd wait for him her entire life and he wouldn't show up—not ever. And he'd betrayed her. His heart clenched at the thought. The one person who hadn't been harmed by his choices—at least not that much—was now even worse off then Al had been. And it was all his fault.

No. It was too early to give up. He'd made a promise, damn it! And may he burn in whatever hell he had left to endure if he wouldn't at least try! He promised he would return, no matter how long it took. And he'd be damned if he didn't keep his promises! Even the impossible ones.

And at that moment, he could have sworn he heard Winry calling him.

'Just wait Winry. I'll come for you. I love you.'

_**One Friday night  
At a football game  
The Lord's Prayer said  
And the anthem sang  
A man said "folks  
would you bow your heads?  
For a list of the local  
Vietnam dead."  
Crying all alone  
Under the stands  
Was a piccolo player  
In the marching band  
And one name read  
And nobody really cared  
But a pretty little girl  
With a bow in her hair**_

Winry walked out her door, just like she did every morning. She knew Edward had the stone, so she didn't bother to make any spare automail for him, even after what he said about Al being the stone. So she mostly spent her time sitting on the porch during the days, watching for him, and when it got dark and she could no longer see, she'd take the light up to the second story window and shine it through the night. If only it would work.

But then, Winry saw something she never thought she'd see. A young Al, just as she remembered him from before he became the armor, was running towards the house.

She slapped her forehead. Surely she must be delusional. Or dreaming. Or seeing things. But there he was, running towards her with a terrified face—she wondered what on earth could have been wrong.

"Alphonse?"

"Yeah? Wait, who are you? Where am I?"

"Al, you're in Risembul, don't you remember? Where's your brother, anyway? I want to welcome him home."

"I have a brother?"

"Of course you do! Don't you remember Edward?"

"Oh yeah! Where is he, anyway? We were supposed to bring Mom back today. And, who are you, again?"

"Al…you tried to bring your mother back years ago. What's wrong with you? And I'm Winry!"

"You can't be Winry, you're too old."

"OLD? I'm sixteen!"

"But Winry's our age, and I'm ten."

"What's happened to you, Al? Come inside, I'm going to have figure out what's going on with you…"

She ushered her friend inside, just as she saw a young woman with a baby run up to the house. "Winry Rockbell?"

"Yeah…"

"I know we've never met, my name is Rose, and this is Noah," she said pointing to the baby. "I was given your address by Sciezka. I'm afraid I have some rather bad news…"

"About what?"

"Edward…I knew him for about a year. At first, it seemed like he ruined my life. But it turns out he was doing exactly what he should have; now I've ruined his. And I'm afraid this may have been my fault, though I don't remember much. I think I was possessed by that Dante woman…"

"But Dante is dead."

"Not until recently, but I'll get to that in a little while. Not until I tell you…I'm sorry, Winry. He never told me about you, but I know you must have been very close…he's dead."

Winry knew the tears were coming. Ed had told her to be strong. He said she should remember he'd always keep his promises. He'd said not to listen to what anyone else said. "No…he can't be…"

"I'm sorry, Winry, I was there. I feel so bad for you…I know all too well what it's like to lose a loved one…He was killed by the homunculus, Envy, the shape-shifter. Envy was Ed's brother, created by Hoenheim after he had a son with Dante many, many years ago that died. Envy was jealous of Ed having 'stolen' his father, and killed him. He turned into Hoenheim.

"All I know is that Al got mad. He stood up and used the stone to bring Edward back to life and sacrificed his entire metal body to do so. When Ed woke up, he felt so guilty; he sacrificed himself to bring Al back. He kept muttering about 'the Gate'. He told me that he was going to try and bring down the entire hidden city of the old Central and that I should take Noah and leave. He said he would follow. But I watched the city fall myself, Winry, I'm sorry. No one could have survived that." Rose bowed her head slightly, and Winry ushered her inside as well.

_**I cried  
Never gonna hold the hand of another guy  
"Too young for him" they told her  
Waiting for the love of her Traveling Soldier  
Our love will never end  
Waiting for the soldier  
To come back again  
Nevermore to be alone  
When the letter says  
"A soldier's coming home"**_

Later that night, Winry went outside on the balcony like she always did and grabbed the giant flashlight. But instead of flashing it into the darkness from there, she took it and walked down the path that led to the remains of the Elric house.

Al had explained what he knew. Ed truly had given up his life, just like she knew he would. So if she knew it, and had tried to prepare herself for it, why did she still feel so empty inside?

She imagined that beautiful house sitting underneath the tree just like it had been all those many years ago. She walked through the rooms and walked over where the stairs were, as though she was going up them. Then she walked through the 'upstairs' until she would have been on Trisha's balcony, had the house still been there, and began to shine the light.

And she let the tears flow freely. Finally, she could let it all out. No one would hear her at her house. And no one would dare follow her, even if they had seen her leave the house. They all knew of her feelings. Rose had explained about Cain and thankfully Al had known, even back then, just how much they cared about each other. And Pinako had always known as well. So Winry stood there, flashing the light, and finally sobbing out her true feelings.

She looked up to the sky as it started to rain. There was no light coming from the supposedly full moon, and you could hear thunder in the distance, just like that night before he left for good. Her sobs shook her entire body as she yelled out to the clouds.

"EDWARD!" she half screamed, half sobbed. "EDWARD! You promised you'd always be here! You promised you wouldn't die! You told me to call you if I needed you! Well here I am! I need you, Edward! Come back to me…" her voice was slowly fading into a whisper. "Please…I love you, Ed…please keep your promise. You always do. Just come back to me. Please…." And with that, she let her tears overcome her, as she fell to the ground. "I'll wait forever, Edward. I love you." And then her voice stopped. The only things to be heard were the soft pitter-patter of the rain as it hit the building's wreckage, Winry's soft sobs, and the thunder rolling in the background.

_**I cried  
Never gonna hold the hand of another guy  
"Too young for him" they told her  
Waiting for the love of her Traveling Soldier  
Our love will never end  
Waiting for the soldier  
To come back again  
Nevermore to be alone  
When the letter says  
"A soldier's coming home"**_

I have a couple quotes to give people credit for—

"Hear this now—I will always come for you."

Wesley

The Princess Bride 

"I'm scared for you."

Hermionie Granger

_Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire_ (movie)


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I know I said this was going to be a one-shot, but I changed my mind! As much as I liked my ending for the other chapter, I just couldn't leave it as a sad ending. I spent months going over what songs to use and how to format it, and finally, I have it ready. This is now going to be a three-chapter fic, so there is still one more to come out, though I have no idea when it'll be written. I hope it will be soon, however.

This one will have small spoilers for the movie, which I have seen very messily on youtube and just barely got it through all the messed up subs and fuzzy pictures and switching videos every 15 minutes. But the English version was out today in theaters, and I hope to see it very soon! (I heard in a magazine that it didn't come out until September and was very upset when the FMA website said it was showing today at a time I couldn't get to it…I was very mad.)

The spoilers are slight, but there are character names, as well as a small reference to the ending of the movie, plus another character is with him (if I say who it is, it'll spoil the entire movie). Point being, read only if you've seen the movie or if you really don't mind spoilers.

**DISCLAIMER: **I do not own FMA. That would be Arakawa-Sensei's work of extreme brilliance. I also do not own the song "Wherever You Are" because Jack Ingram sings that and not me. Partly because it is talking about a girl from a guy's POV, partly because I can't sing, and partly because I can't write songs.

_**This desert wind is burnin' my face again**_

_**God I'm missin' you**_

_**Been runnin' blind under a broken sky**_

_**With regrets I was sorting through**_

_**But lesson learned, baby I've made the turn **_

_Hughes Residence; Munich, Germany; October 2, 1925_

We walked. I know that's kinda a lame way to start a journal. Hell, I don't even know why I'm writing a journal. What point will it serve me when I reach the other side at last? And out here, who even knows my name? But here I sit, writing this journal about everything that's happened since I left Amestris…the second time. How could I have been so stupid as to leave her again? I made a promise. That was my only chance to stay with her. And yet, I left again.

She hardly seemed like Winry when I saw her, hair pulled back like that…it doesn't suit her. I wonder what she would have done if I told her that. But, there she was, first one over to me, she throws her arms around me and says the simplest of things. "Welcome back." And, of course, I just couldn't think up any reply to it. And of course, here was Winry, who'd been lugging around two brand new automail pieces in her suitcase just for me. Size adjustable automail limbs. That girl knows everything, doesn't she?

I left this time because my home was in danger. Who could blame me? Had I stayed, just so I could be with her, my whole world would have been destroyed. We all would have ended up somewhere in this vast, unknown place they call 'Earth' with no memory and no background. It would be up to fate to decide if we'd ever even meet again. And so I left.

At least I wasn't the only bonehead. Al came over too. And his memory…it returned. He was so happy. He didn't care how many people he had left on the other side. Al was just happy to be there with his brother. The one who risked so much to regain his body. The one who promised to make things right and did. He's told me this. He told me he wanted to travel too, just like in the old days. And so, we stowed our way into a gypsy caravan and rode off with Noa, with no idea where we were going. And I suppose that's where I started, isn't it?

"We walked." Just those two simple words left me to go on about days past like I know what I'm talking about. Like I deserve to have my brother here with me. Like I deserve to even set eyes on my Winry when I return. But that's what we did. We walked. Because here, I had no money. Here, I had no status. And up until that moment, I had been living with this world's Alphonse, studying those rockets. He had provided my share. But now…well, we were traveling with a mind-reading gypsy girl. No one would so much as speak to us unless they were to tell us to leave their town.

If we left Noa, it would have been easier. But she was so much like Rose, I couldn't. And Al couldn't either. I think Al was starting to fall in love with Noa. It's a shame that she loved me instead. It drove me crazy. I already have a love. Why must the people I care about always suffer like this? I didn't hate Noa at all. In fact, I was rather fond of her company. But I could not love her as I loved Winry. And she knew that. It was why we were walking that day, Alphonse and I.

Noa had wanted to return to her homeland. She did not call it her home, because well, it wasn't. Not in the slightest. Others would have disliked the idea completely in this world. That ones home could be the planet. That traveling made your life worth living. But Alphonse and I had spent a great deal of our life like that. We understood. And we also understood that even if one had no home besides the places they traveled to, it was nice to return to the beginning. To see those who care about you. The names echo in my head, but I am still here. On this "earth".

But we were walking home. Home to Munich. After two long years of traveling. I had been hoping to find a way back to Amestris during our travels. I should have known that no one would speak to a gypsy and her companions. Noa had stayed behind now, however. She was ready to stay in one place for a while. To that, I also knew the feeling. I wished I could return to my true home.

We walked in and everything seemed to have changed. No more were the Nazis everywhere. No more did the police patrol the streets like madmen. And here, at Alphonse's house, was obviously, rented out to new owners. But here was Gracia. She had a daughter now, and a wedding band on her finger. Hughes, of course, was the father, and he had turned soft, just like in Amestris.

They all three greeted me upon my arrival, and I finally got to introduce them to Al. They offered us a place to stay. Not much, just a room and some food, in exchange for help around the house. And I was given the mind-boggling task of babysitting one-year-old Elicia (it seems only fitting, right?) as "Uncle Edward". Ha. Ha. Well, okay, so kids are great. But I'm often busy with my research on the gate and alternate universes. I began reading those books that I had been shown those two years ago. I forget the guy's name. I always do seem to forget little things like that.

And here I sit. Maybe some day I'll find the way to return. And then maybe, some other unfortunate soul will find a way to bypass the gate from Amestris and need to return. And so this journal will be here.

And about the gate being sealed off…I never went through with that. And if I know Mustang, he didn't either. I know it would mean the end of alchemy on that side. I would also mean I could never again return. And Mustang wouldn't stand for that.

And I must, _must_ find my way back. I made a promise. I never break my promises. I know Winry probably thinks that I won't return now. Who could blame her? I left twice, _twice_ after I told her I would stay. And I wonder, if I were to return, what she would say this time. Her words still echo inside of me. "Welcome back."

_**Wherever you are**_

_**No matter how far**_

_**Girl, I'm gonna find my way to you**_

_**Through rivers of rain **_

_**Over mountains of pain**_

_**Do whatever on earth I've gotta do**_

_**I'll follow the dream, I'll follow my heart**_

_**Girl I've gotta be**_

_**Wherever you are **_

_Hughes Residence; Munich, Germany; October 3, 1925_

Well, here I am again. I was up most of last night studying and reading…and I've still found nothing of consequence. I really don't want to read _his_ journal. But I might just have to.

On a happier note, today was little Elicia's second birthday. I half expected it to be the same as Amestris's Elicia, but I guess that would have been just a little bit too ironic. But of course, it still hit me hard…such a happy day, just 8 years after Al and I lost our home…I didn't know weather to celebrate or hate myself. It's my fault, I know…it's just hard to believe.

Gracia and Hughes are good parents, and still I feel as though I'm back in Amestris. They're both so much like the ones I once knew…it makes me wonder, if I were to stick around in Munich for another three years…would this Hughes die as well?

They understand though…I tried my best to be happy for Elicia. But I just couldn't. It's strange…a new life, a new world, and a completely new life. I could just forget everything that happened to make my life like this…yet still, I can't. That day eight years ago is still fresh in my mind. I've told Gracia and Maes this before. Amazingly, they believe us too. Gracia always has, I guess. It's wonderful. I've found a sort of makeshift family here as well. And I can't be happy. Maybe I'm not meant to be.

I'm sorry I can't write more…but today is against me. I guess it always has been. October 3rd…it must just be one of those days.

_**So many miles to where we said goodbye**_

_**To the street of shattered dreams**_

_**I'm prayin' hard you didn't start a life**_

_**With someone who's not me**_

_**And if you're just gone**_

_**Girl I'll be movin' on **_

_Hughes Residence; Munich, Germany; October 4, 1925_

Here! I have it. It's his journal. I've always been rather skeptical about reading his things…I don't want to turn out like him. He may have loved…but he loved too late. His mind, overcome by grief… by age… by sin… he may have loved her. But his love, could cause nothing but pain for others, as had the rest of his life.

I know he knew all these things…the stone and the homunculi and everything else that made my life hell. If I had just known it from the beginning, I would never have done any of it. Instead, he shows up 7 years too late to tell me not to do these things. His life and mine…they may be somewhat the same, but I will never do what he did.

I love Winry. I'd do anything to live with her forever. But I finally learned that humans live to die. That's it. That's all we are. Water, carbon, ammonia, lime, phosphorus, salt, saltpeter, sulfur, fluorine, iron, silicon, and those other fifteen elements…humans are cheap. I always knew that, but that cycle…it took me so long to understand it. Looking back now, I don't know why. But he didn't follow those rules. He did everything he could to bypass every law ever made…and look where it got him.

I don't want to trust him. But it seems I have no choice. His notes are so complex…but, I'll get it, no matter what. It can't be any harder than cracking a cookbook code…damn, Marcoh made those notes way too difficult…

I flip through the book, until the last entry.

_**Wherever you are**_

_**No matter how far**_

_**Girl I'm gonna find my way to you**_

_**Through rivers of rain**_

_**Over mountains of pain**_

_**Do whatever on earth I've gotta do**_

_**I'll follow the dream, I'll follow my heart**_

_**Girl I've gotta be **_

_**Wherever you are**_

_Munich, Germany; January 10, 1921_

_Dear Edward…I assume you're the one reading this._

_I realized back when I first came to this world, that I would never again see Amestris. I was not planning on returning. You may ask then, why I still found a way. Well, tried to find a way. It's because I knew you would one day want to return. I probably won't ever understand why, but I realize that your heart is still there…for whatever reason. _

_I'm not sure if it could work. I have no idea. But just to make it easier, so you won't spend unnecessary time going through all of my notes, I'll come out and say it._

_I know you weren't very fond of me, even after we got to know each other a little more. I could have told you that day you left that rockets were not the answer, but I knew you wouldn't listen. So here I am, hoping you decided to read my journal, despite your apparent hatred for me. _

_First, I believe I was wrong when I said there was no alchemy in this world. I did not know when I told you that, but I have since done quite a bit of research on the subject. Perhaps in your studies you have come across the name Flamel. He believed in alchemy, as did many others of his time. It may have been that they also came from Amestris, or it may not be. But their goal was somewhat different from our alchemy._

_You see, they also wished to make the stone, though the only one who supposedly succeeded, was Flamel. Well, we don't know for sure, but it is a myth. Supposedly he wrote about his find in a journal and disappeared. And his grave, well, it's empty. Don't get me wrong. It could have been grave robbers. He was famous after all…but then again, it might not have. _

_The point is, though, that alchemy does exist in this world. Their goals were different from ours, and with the difficulty of finding the stone, many gave up. It passed out of theories and knowledge…though it must still be there, though harder to access here than from our world. _

_If you want a method different from mine, which I'm sure would be better, you should find Flamel. I know he's still alive out there, assuming he found the stone. My method is not flawless at all. In fact, the entire idea is to only transport your soul. You would have to find a new body to inhabit, seeing as your body is long gone from that world. _

_But I realize that would be difficult for you. However, it is all I can offer you. _

_For this theory to work, you must make cause for your soul to transport itself across the gate yet again. I believe that dying would not help you with that. And my theory is very difficult. I also realized one of human transmutation's major mistakes. The soul. You must find a way to rid the body you have of its soul without actually killing the body. It would be difficult._

_On the next page, I have drawn a very complex transmutation circle for your use in this. You already know how to get your body through the gate. This is where everything will get difficult. You will use the same diagram that you used to come here the second time, when you did it for Al. But on your body, in the same places as before, draw my circles. You will stand in front of the gate the same as you had before, only your soul will separate from your body and pass through the gate. It will join in with the dead souls used in alchemy, however, since you are still alive, you will have control over it. _

_You must find a body of someone who has just recently died and take it over. Keep in mind that when you wake up, you will be in the place that the body was. In other words, if you enter a body that has already been buried, you will awaken six feet underground and no one will find you. You also must choose carefully. If for some reason the body should reject you, you will end up back on this side of the gate, in that person's alternate self. _

_That is all I can offer you. I wish you happiness should you return to Amestris. _

_Hoenheim Elric_

_**Let the sunrise, find me searchin'**_

_**Let the west wind carry my plea**_

_**Give this changed man, one more last chance**_

_**Open your arms to me**_

_Philadelphia, PA, United States of America; December 20, 1925_

Here I am. I have traveled for two and a half months to find Flamel. I have hated waiting even this long for my attempted return. I told Al of his entry, and of his method. Al agreed that it would be better to keep our same bodies, should Winry not believe who we say we are.

We took off a week later, and traveled. First, to Noa. We asked if she had ever seen anyone somewhat like Flamel, or had ever heard any rumors of alchemy being performed. She couldn't help us at all. We asked if she wanted to tag along. We even offered to take her with us to Amestris, where she would be accepted. But she didn't want to leave. I know the feeling of that too. Even if everyone hates you, your home is your home. And it always will be.

We went around the world after that, never staying very long in one place, asking for rumors in the small towns we visited. No one knew. Not that we expected them to, of course. And eventually, we wound up in the states. I know it seems hard to believe that we could do all of that in such a short time…and I know we could probably find more if we stayed longer…maybe even a year of searching. But I don't want to. I've made Winry wait long enough.

I don't want to end up in another body. I've had enough of that and I know Al has as well.

Earlier today, Al was sitting on the bed in out cheap motel as I paced.

"_Alphonse, I'm tired of this. I can't stand knowing that she's over there, all alone. She needs me. More like, I need her. I bet she's given up on me. I bet she has some husband and kid now and they're living together happily. I bet granny died. I bet she runs the automail shop. I bet a lot of things. But I have to see her. I need her to know that I didn't forget. That I didn't break my promise. It can't wait any longer. I can't stand the knowledge that if I had gone just a day earlier, then I could have prevented her giving up. I have to leave. I have to see her. Even if she doesn't believe me. Even if she hates me. Even if she's given up. I have to know."_

"_I understand, brother. You know I'll go with you. Even if it means giving up my body again. I'll live in that armor again if I have to. But I can guarantee she hasn't given up. That's just not her. She waited four years before, remember? She always knew you'd come back, even when you didn't promise. I know she's there, waiting for you just as she was those two years I was there and you weren't."_

"_I'm going, Al. I'm going tonight. You can come or you can stay. But I'm going. And if you stay…I wish you happiness."_

So here I am. I'm here, in this room. Al's gone out. I don't know where. I had hoped he would come as well. But I know he could be happy here.

The circles are drawn. All I have to do is activate the alchemy.

This journal is here for you, Al, if you stay, and for whoever may read it afterwards. It is for anyone else who ever wishes to get to Amestris, or any of the other worlds. I have spent the afternoon documenting the entire adventure, from start to finish. From when mom first died, all the way up to Al came here as well. The rest is unimportant. And everything else anyone might need to know is in here.

I have left an address for the Hughes' residence, so this will go to them. They were so kind to us, and they deserve to know what happened. It is my only true possession, and they are to do what they will with it.

I wish everyone I have met in this world the best of luck. I hope you can all be happy with your lives, and I hope things don't turn out as badly for the Hughes' and Noa as they did for their Amestris counterparts.

_For Alphonse_: should you stay here, I hope you can be happy. I'm sorry I put you through so much pain in past years. I can understand why you'd be better off without me around. And I know that's not the reason you stayed. Go out and live your life the way you were meant to. As wonderful as if I'd never screwed up mom's transmutation. I hope you find someone you can love. Tell Noa how you feel. (yes, I know about that). And also, tell her I'm sorry. I'll miss you, brother. Perhaps we'll meet again some day. Perhaps not. But, I'll never forget you. And if things don't turn out for you here, there'll always be a place for you in Amestris, if you ever wish to return.

_For Gracia, Elicia, and Maes: _Thank you for everything. I can't stress that enough. You gave us a home, you gave us food, and you believed us. Not many people would have believed there were alternate universes. And most people would have thrown us out as soon as we mentioned it. I'll always remember you, and when Elicia is older and she remembers me, please tell her about where I went. I wish you luck. And Hughes—it was good to see you again. Just for a short time. So I could say good-bye properly.

_For Noa: _Thank you for coming with us. And thank you for believing us. And I'm sorry for everything. I know you had feelings for me. But Winry…I'm sorry. And I won't ever be able to say that enough. And please…be happy. No matter where you travel. No matter if you stay in your homeland. Just be happy.

I realize those are sappy. I'm sorry if they seem out of character for me. But if I have to leave my brother and family behind, I may as well be sincere. Now, all that's left is for me to leave. I thank you all, and I'm sorry. Good-Bye.

For good.

Edward Elric

_**Through rivers of rain**_

_**Over mountains of pain**_

_**Do whatever on earth I've gotta do**_

_**I'll follow the dream I'll follow my heart**_

_**Girl I've gotta be**_

_**Wherever you are **_

_I stepped away from my seat after sealing the leather-bound journal. My life is going to change again. I'm probably ruining all this for myself. I'm probably about to transmute myself into hell. But, I have to do it. I place my hands over my bare chest, just as I did a world and two years ago. The blue light surrounded the circles, flowing out of them as they usually did. It felt great to use alchemy again. I could feel myself fading from this place, just as the door flung open. _

_Al dashed into the room and through the circle, just as the world went dark._

END CH 2


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Hello all, once again! I don't really have much to say in this a/n, now do I? Except I now have all 51 episodes and CoS on DVD in English, so now I get what's going on, a little too late for the previous chapter, but whatever.

This here is the final chapter in my trilogy of chapters that started as a one shot, and I would like to thank everyone who reviewed. I'm sorry I didn't post you all before, but sometime soon I'll gather all of your names up and post them so you kind reviewers can have your own private chapter dedicated to you. And I'd also like to thank Jordan, cuz he helped me a lot with this fic. Even though we spent way more time going over FMN instead of this one, some huge ideas for this came from AIM convos and things like that. Oh, and I'll thank Jessie #3 for being Jessie #3, just cuz. Oh, and last but not least, we must thank all the wonderful people who created the FMA anime and made it what it is today. Including Caitlin Glass who voices Winry for having the same FMA shirt that I bought at Hot Topic a year ago… And Arakawa-sensei too of course, even though she only started the plot on this one (read the manga and you'll see what I mean. About volume 8 the two go in completely opposite directions…which is good. Maybe it won't be sad…it's like having 2 brilliant series sprouting from one plot! Like a fanfic but original!)

DISCLAIMER: duh, I don't own FMA cuz Arakawa-sensei does and not me. And the anime also goes out to TokyoPop, Funimation, and all those other fun anime-publishing companies just cuz I feel like thanking them. And I believe we all know this song, yes? Is it really necessary to say I don't own it? I must thank Jessi #1 for sitting in English I last year… "Guess what I watched last night! TITANIC!" no I didn't write this until waaaaay after it and she hasn't fallen prey to my madness and my must-get-friends-obsessed-with-FMA thing yet, but it reminded me that the song actually existed…yes I know it's rather overused, but I just had to use it! Gomen! bows before readers please don't hate me…

_**Every night in my dreams**_

_**I see you, I feel you,**_

_**That is how I know you go on**_

My life…what has it become? It's strange. I saw him, just two years ago to the date. I know he's alive. That should be enough. I know Al is with him. He's happy. Therefore I should be happy. So why am I not?

After he left for good, I couldn't do anything. My life was meaningless to me. My automail business went away, my loves, my skills, and I became lazy…not at all like my usual self. People would walk by…I know what they thought. They'd always give sympathetic glances my way, but I knew what they said when I wasn't around.

'She's crazy.' 'Why believe someone dead will ever come back to life?' 'It's not normal'… I knew it wasn't normal. But I also knew that he was alive, if just a little beyond my reach. He was everywhere. In my dreams, in my mind, in front of me, behind me, everywhere I turned. I couldn't forget. I couldn't let go.

Granny was worried. She often tried to cheer me up, but it often ended with her lectures on how irrational I was being, which only served to upset me more. I didn't need to hear about how crazy I was. I needed someone who believed me as well. Before, I had Alphonse…but now I have no one. Maybe Mustang or Hawkeye or Gracia or anyone else we met along the way, but I was in no position to talk to them. I knew I'd hear the same.

But it's two years later now, and my life has changed. I pretend to be happy. Everyone thinks my life is back on course. Now when I listen to the gossip I hear "That Winry Rockbell is finally getting some sense knocked into her!" But they don't know. I think about him all the time. My life is nothing different than it was those two years ago…I just learned to hide it.

I forget how long I've hidden behind my façade of life, love, and happiness…probably about a year now. But it's always the same. I hear his name and my mind goes numb. I can't think and it takes all self-control I have to not cry…until I reach home. Then they fall. Really, I'm surprised I haven't run out of tears yet. Sometimes I feel like I have…but that just makes it worse.

They say the best way to get over something is to talk about it. Let out those bottled up feelings before you explode. But I know it doesn't work like that. I tried talking. Where did it get me? My few remaining friends starting to consider locking me up for my sanity? My life even worse off than it was? Needless to say, that idea left quickly.

Then came the mask. That beautiful, ugly mask, contorted into what happiness I could manage, if just for the outside world. Only in the comfort of my room, alone, would I let my true feelings show. I cry myself to sleep every night. Granny must hear the sobs at night, though she never says anything about it. And I wonder, what has my life come to? The tears have stopped for now, just long enough for me to analyze my thoughts as I am now. Then that one thought that rules all other thoughts comes to my mind. If I were to look out my window right now and see my love's face behind the glass, what would he think of me? Would he care? Would he understand? Or perhaps he doesn't love me anymore. Maybe he would think it foolish, like everyone else. Then the tears come.

Sometimes I feel as though I'm looking down upon myself, as though I was reading the story of my life in a book. I feel as though I could pinch myself and wake up from this nightmare. I would be sixteen again, lying in my bed, covered in sweat with Edward right beside me, comforting me as he promises never to leave. Again and again he strokes my hair and tells me he loves me. How everything was just a bad dream that I can wake up from and that he'll always be there beside me.

But reality is not as sweet, precious, romantic, happy, or any of those emotions I would be feeling were that to happen. Though it feels like a bad dream, I know in my heart that this is the cruel reality of our world.

The tears fall again, onto the already soggy pillow. I lift my head up to flip it over and lie back down. But maybe, the only place I can be happy is my true dreams. Dreams of the life I live next to him, as though none of this had happened. And the first thing I see is two teenage boys laughing next to Trisha, and I know—this is my dream. But here in my mind, if only for a moment, I can find peace.

_**Far across the distance**_

_**And spaces between us**_

_**You have come to show you go on**_

He's here. I see him, standing right in front of me, clear as the sunshine breaking through the clouds. The surroundings disappear and it's just the two of us. Heh, who would have thought I'd be the romantic type? But I love to think like that. Maybe it's because I've invented some utopia where I'm together with him and nothing else matters. I know everything about him, and maybe it's just my imagination, but something tells me that underneath the muscle and strength, he's just soft and loveable. Just the perfect guy…

I shake my head back to my thoughts. He's just standing there like an angel without wings. I can't believe it. This is so real; it can't be a dream! Yet logic tells me that it is. Tears of joy well up in my eyes. It feels good to cry from happiness for once. I can't believe it. I'm almost afraid to reach out and touch him. Yet he walks towards me.

He takes my hand in his, oh so gently. "I'm coming. I swear."

And with that, he's gone. With a flash of light though, I see his body reappear, though less real than before. He's engulfed in light and his body changes into one I don't recognize. The nearly-transparent Edward, if he's still Edward, seems to go back to a solid form. "I'm sorry." He said before the light came back, and I see the real Edward break away from the strange, newer body, and become solid again.

I wake with a scream, shaking.

_**Near, far, wherever you are**_

_**I believe that the heart does go on**_

_**Once more you open the door**_

_**And you're here in my heart**_

_**And my heart will go on and on**_

What should I make of it? What could it possibly mean? Did Ed die? What happened to him? The questions fill my brain as Granny bursts into the room. "Winry! What in the world is wrong?"

"Dream…ed…light…someone else…more light…woke up…he's alive…somewhere…"

She sighed. "You're dreaming, Winry. He's not alive. You're starting to sound like them! Before I know it you'll have a taboo theory scrawled out in the basement, come crawling up just like they did with missing limbs and a damaged spirit…if it's anything you should have learned from those boys, it's that the dead are dead. There's nothing you can do about it. I'm sorry. I know you loved him. But it's over. Nothing left to do but move on with life. I care about you Winry…I want you to be happy…I want what's best for you. And spending nights crying and days pretending is not the way to do it. It's your life, but don't kid yourself. Those boys are gone. And there's nothing you, or anyone else in this world can do about it. I'm sorry."

"I feel so lost, Granny. He was my reason for everything. I started automail because I wanted to try something new. But when it became necessity for those two, I continued with it. My heart was gone long before I realized it and I got nothing in return save a visit four years later for more service. And then it hit me. To stay by his side meant I had to be of use. He was in no predicament to have a best friend, or a girl friend. He needed a mechanic, so I would become one. I would be the best mechanic in the world, just so Ed would stay by my side a little longer. But now, he's gone. I have no reason to continue. Everything I've accomplished in my life meant nothing after he left. I realize now that it was a mistake to build my life around hopes and dreams of where we would go when he succeeded…I knew in my heart he never would, but I wouldn't believe. He'd find a way, like he always did. But he didn't. And now, my life means nothing. Because everything I'd ever done in my life, was just so I could be nearer to him. I don't have any clue where I left off or what to do now. So how can I forget? The only thing that keeps me going at all is that maybe, just maybe, against all logic and reason, he can return and my work won't have been wasted. All I need is to believe he'll come back someday. It's all I can do to stay alive. Even if it is only half-living."

"Winry dear, your life is your own. I can't tell you what to do or how to act or even where to pick up. Life doesn't work that way. It's one of the sad realities of this world. I wish I had an answer to every question you asked but I don't. You'll have to figure this one out on your own. As for what you do, that's up to you and no one else. If your interests don't lie in automail, then don't practice automail. It makes no difference to me. It will be sad when Auto Mail Rockbell dies with me, but it can't be helped and I'm not going to force you into anything that you don't want. It's your choice. It's your life. Go live it. Wait for him if you truly believe…and who knows? Maybe he'll come walking down the sidewalk tomorrow. Goodnight."

She turned and left without another word. I wondered what had brought on the sudden change of heart…maybe she hadn't realized that my life was built around his strength. Maybe she hadn't realized how much I needed him to live on. But I also realize that my memory is here. He's in my heart. Always. And so I keep that one small, comforting thought in the back of my mind. It's all I can do to continue living.

_**Love can touch us one time**_

_**And last for a lifetime**_

_**And never let go till we're gone**_

I often remember our younger days. My love for him was always there. Probably since I first laid eyes on him. He was so kind. So chivalrous, so perfect. And he always had a knack for protecting me. As long ago as I can remember…I was always clumsy. I'd trip over a tree stump and he'd be right there beside me. Then, as soon as he figured out I was alright, he's stand up and turn his back with that cute little pout on his face mumbling 'it's not like I care or anything' and ignore me for about five minutes before all was forgotten and forgiven. That's just Edward. It still is.

I can see him. He's always next to me. Deep within my heart. So I can't believe he's dead. He's in my dreams that give me hope. He's in my thoughts that keep me sane. And now, all I have to do is picture that small pout of his and my façade turns to the real me. Every so often, the old Winry breaks through the mask and shows the true colors of one who cares so deeply, her life would end, if not for those few, precious memories she had left. And again, I'm looking down upon myself, as though this was truly a dream.

_**Love was when I loved you**_

_**One true time I hold to**_

_**In my life we'll always go on**_

_December 19, 1920_

_My Edward…where are you? I wait. I hold on to the precious memories we share. You remember that letter you sent four years ago? I still have it. I read it almost daily. I don't know why. I could recite the thing backwards by now. But I do. It's the last thing you gave me before you died. Of course, I still cherish everything else you gave me as well. That doll…it's barely in tact. I hug it when I need to feel nearer to you. And I have both of those horse figures. I know you didn't exactly give those to me, but I still have them. They remind me of you._

_Why do I write this?_ _It's not like you'll ever read it. The people of Risembool made you a grave. They think you're dead, but I know better. Still, that's where this letter is going. I haven't been to the grave once. I always figured that seeing your name engraved upon the stone would mean you were truly gone. They didn't have a service. No funeral. Why? Because there was no body. As I'm sure you're aware, because you're alive. I know it in my heart._

_I wish you were here. My life is so messed up without my hope of your return. Granny talked to me the other night. She made me realize that even though my entire life was built around your safe return, that you once again, have to return safely. I decided that you'd need more automail. I know that. So I've started work. Right after I talked with Granny, I started work._

_I put all of my life and love into it. It is the best piece I have ever made and the last. It is my masterpiece, and if you need them when you return, they'll be here. Perfect shocks, completely lightweight, the latest designs from rush valley, all made from reforged steel from your previous limbs. Oh, and it's size adjustable, so you'll never have to get new ones, unless of course you manage to destroy them again. But you know, when you return, you're staying here. No military. No Fullmetal Alchemist. No stone. No adventures or wars. I won't give you a chance to destroy them. I've lived enough of my life worrying for your safety and being apart from you, only trying to help you as best I can. And now, I'm lost without you. Please. Don't worry me any more. I'll get down on my knees and beg. Do whatever you want me to. But please, don't leave again. I love you too damn much._

_I think I'll finish this up. I'll probably spend hours out by your grave. I even got flowers to place. I know you're not dead, but it's the least I can do._

_I love you,_

_Winry_

I stood up and stretched. The letter and flowers in hand, I make my way out the door and down towards the local cemetery. I'd been there many times before, for different people. First my parents, then Trisha, and now Edward and Al. It seems everyone I've ever loved has left me. Even Granny will soon be too old to carry on. She's near ninety now. Soon the age will catch up. Then I'll be alone.

I reach the grave. It stands there, just like a normal gravestone. It has his name plainly written across the top, but there's something else too…

"_1900-1916?_  
_I see you standing there_

_Always right beside me_

_Best friends since we met_

Though not that long ago 

_And as close as we became_

I feel you are Just beyond my reach In this world we share 

_I wonder, can you hear me?_

_Even now, walking next to me_

_I feel that you are_

_Just beyond my reach_

_My eyes, they always see you_

_And my hands are there to touch you_

_However, as close as we have become_

_You will always be just beyond my reach_

_And will you read my mind,_

_Just this once?_

_And never yet again_

_Be just beyond my reach..._

_Of your love"_

_Winry Rockbell_

I gasped. How did they find that! It was my own work, locked away in my room forever, never to be seen by anyone. How could it have ended up _on his grave_?

"Do you like it? I found it lying on your desk one day." I knew it was Granny without even turning around. "That's why I was angry…see, I went into your room to see if you were there. It was one of those days I couldn't find you and I saw your journal there…this, along with an entry about how if you hadn't learned from Ed himself not to, you would study the way they had and create a Homunculus of him, no matter what price you had to pay. I thought the poem fit for the stone, don't you?"

I wanted to be angry with her. She should know not to go through my private things…But I had to admit, the poem did add a nice tough to the grave…"But what will he say when he returns? To know how I felt about him all this time?"

"I'm sure he'll understand. Because that Truth Izumi talked about…somehow, someway, he's in it. And right now, I bet he's feeling exactly the same."

I smiled my first true smile since he left. "Thanks, Granny."

_**Near, far, wherever you are**_

_**I believe that the heart does go on**_

_**Once more you open the door**_

_**And you're here in my heart**_

_**And my heart will go on and on**_

It's like before. Edward is standing before me, just as I remember him. Were in that place again. The nothingness. It's just a blob of light surrounded by darkness. Just like before. But then, it appears. A giant, looming gate, towering above me and between us. It opens, and I can barely see him through all the distorted impish creatures, but he's there.

He tries to walk through, but the imps grab at his flesh and tear at his skin. First his fake arm and leg and he manages to get pretty far on those alone. But then they start scratching his real flesh away, bit-by-bit. But he keeps coming. He at least reaches the side of the gate I'm on, and his body is enveloped in that light again and I witness the same phenomenon as before. His 'spirit' leaves his body and enters another. The flash fades and another quickly takes the place of the first, as his form emerges once again from the body and reenters his own tattered and worn body. He gets up and walks towards me more, the gate closing behind him, the imps still squirming and tearing apart the mechanics of the prosthetics. His arms slowly wrap around me, but as I return the hug, his body becomes limp and slowly fades away from me.

I know I'm dreaming, and I know that in my bed right now, I must be throwing a fit. I assume I will wake up…but I don't.

I'm inside of a room now. It's rather rundown, and I can see Edward sitting at a desk. He's writing something. Then, he puts down the pen and sighs as he closes the journal he was writing in. He stands up and walks over to a transmutation circle drawn on the floor and begins marking himself in the same way. First his forehead, then his arms, and last his chest, all tattooed with the same circle. He places his hands crossed over the chest mark and they glow a bright blue. Then I see the door swing open, and Al jumps into the circle and grabs a hold of his brother's arm. Edward's eyes shoot open, and both of them fall limply to the ground, their souls gone. Then the bodies disappear as I am transported to yet another place.

Edward is standing again, this time with his back towards me. I must be invisible or something. He obviously doesn't know I'm there. He has different markings on himself now, and as he activates them, his body expands. It becomes huge and disgusting, not nearly resembling what it once was. The new monster was bulky and drooling. He turned around to face me.

"You see what you've done to me? What happens when you make me promise things I can't keep? This is my life now. I'm a hideous monster. And it's all…your…fault!"

Monster-Ed started stalking and fumbling towards me. I saw red and woke up in my bes screaming.

_**You're here, there's nothing I fear,**_

_**And I know that my heart will go on**_

_**We'll stay forever this way**_

_**You are safe in my heart**_

_**And my heart will go on and on**_

Well, at least I thought it was my bed…it was actually very comfortable…I opened my eyes only to see something I never thought I would. Those shining, golden eyes I've loved my entire life were staring down at me. I blinked a couple times, figuring I was still dreaming. After all, I had just skipped between three dreams…but they were real this time.

His eyes weren't on mine though. He had looked away as soon as my eyes opened. I actually got the feeling he thought I was still asleep. His real hand was stroking through my hair, every so often going astray to brush the bangs out of my eyes. His other hand, I noticed, was still the fake one from the other world, torn to bits.

I saw pain in his eyes as he stared into the distance, muttering things I couldn't hear. But soon, his words began to get louder. I could very faintly hear him promising to never leave again. How he'd always be there. And if I hadn't cried enough in my sleep, fresh tears began to fall down my cheeks.

"I'm dreaming." I mumble to him and his eyes shoot down, connecting with mine.

"No, you're not. I thought so too. But it's not, I promise."

"How did you get here?"

"I sent my body through the gate one final time. It's a good thing we didn't seal that side and that Mustang didn't seal this side…It was my father's theory. It was flawed though. My body did attempt to take over that of another, but when my spirit was rejected, I somehow ended up in this body again.

"But the question is, are you alright?"

"Yeah. Just a little shaken is all. What was I doing?"

"Screaming, crying, tossing around…nearly fell off the bed too. You kept saying 'don't leave me, don't leave me' over and over again. And so the only thing I could do was promise you that it's all over and that I'll never have to leave like that again. And you should know by now, I always keep my promises."

It seemed like the Edward I knew should have smirked at that, but he didn't. He still looked concerned. "You know I was surprised to find I had a grave…that's where I reconnected with this world, I think. I saw the poem…and read the letter. You should know I never meant to cause you so much pain. I had no idea you'd give up your dreams because of me…"

"Automail wasn't my dream after all. I figured out after you left—the only thing I ever dreamed was that I could be by your side forever."

"I'm sorry…"

"No. Don't apologize. …I don't suppose you ever got that last letter I sent, did you? Back before all of this happened. Before you passed through the gate."

"I did. And I just barely read it too. It was a lucky break. If I hadn't have pulled Mustang over for a ride to the church, I never would have. I stopped in the tunnel leading to Old Central to read it. Lucky I remembered I had it too. And lucky Mustang ever got it…he was shipped off to war in the north. It was Pride's idea. If it had gotten there a day later…"

"I understand. I'm glad you got to read it before all of this…"

"Yeah."

I was calming down from my dream, finally. I had realized that it was the real Edward. I wasn't dreaming. And I couldn't have been happier.

"And about those arguments…I know it was a while ago, but the offer still stands. Now that I'm here for good and all." It took me a minute to figure out what he was talking about. Then it hit me. Those fights between him and Al about who would grow up and get to marry me…

"I think you already know the answer to that, Mr. Fullmetal Alchemist, Sir."

"Haha, very funny. I haven't been called that in years and I get back home only to hear it from my girlfriend of all people."

"I don't remember anything about me being your girlfriend…I _am_ your fiancé, now, judging from my previous statement, so get it right!"

We both laughed as he leaned down and captured my lips with his.

I didn't even occur to me until after we broke apart that it was our first. Heh. I guess 'happily ever after' does exist after all.

The End 

A/N: So, that's it. I hope you enjoyed it! my first completed chapter fic! does happy dance . Now then, that was probably really confusing, yes? Well, I got some reviews in the first 2 chapters asking if Winry was dead. I hope that chapter answered your questions and gave a good ending to our favorite romance-less anime series.

Just cuz I'm not sure if I explained it right, Ed's father's theory was correct in some aspects that he could trade bodies, but he did not know that, should the body chosen reject the soul, the original body would be taken over again. Therefore, Edward ended up in his same body, if that makes any sense at all. And I know I didn't mention it cuz there wasn't room, but Alphonse made it as well. Feel free to ask any other questions you have, and please review and tell me what you think. I know it's the last chapter, but that doesn't mean you can't review. And you're still gonna get mentioned, so be happy!

Oh, and the day that Winry wrote the letter was the day before Ed transferred through the gate. The years are different because that's how they are in the movie. If you watch the last episode and/or the movie, the captions will say somewhere in Amestris year 1918 or Munich, Germany year 1923. there's just always that 5 year difference in the years. I know I screwed that up in the last chapter, but I went back and fixed it.

And the poem on Edwards grave was actually a random thing I came up with when I entered a poetry contest online. It was called "Valentines poetry contest" cuz it was on Valentines Day, but it didn't have a theme. Just to be safe, I wrote a love poem…actually it's one of the best I've done, in my opinion at least, and it's deffinatly the only one I'd send off to a poetry contest…of course it was spur of the moment too…so yeah. Anyway, that's my poem and not some other poet who you can look up online and yell at me for stealing without credit. Cuz it's mine! All mine, I tell you::maniacal laughter:. Shutting up now…

With love

Midnight Wolf 314


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